On Burnout And Grief

It was 12 years ago, I think, that I gave up on my dreams. Caved in the pressure of my parents, after a year and a half of trying, with no tools, no support, no community, and abandonned 3D Art for the much more reasonnable studies in programming.

Now I can look back and see: How much I tried. How heartbroken I was. How hard it was, and how I couldn't do anything else with what I knew and had at the time. Now I can put a word on this abyss of pain I was in. Burnout.

A lot happened in those 12 years, I was able to accomplish quite a lot actually. I graduated from full studies in programming, I spent years with someone who... Tried their best to help me but hurt me more than they helped. And I tried, regularly, to get back into 3D modeling. I couldn't. It was too hard. I could open 3DSmax or blender, maybe start a model, but never continue it. I used to be able to create a whole diorama, with handpainted textures, in a week